Get Your Fix with Dawn Dix
I cut myself off
From father & mother
Where does that leave
My poor baby brother?
He’s now in the middle –
A bad place to be
I was once there –
And it was on me
Things are complex
Not so cut and dry
Do I reach out again?
Do I give it a try?
It affects my family
So how do they cope
When there is no light
And there is no hope
Live beyond fear,
it just holds you back
from the things you could be
and the things that you lack
Look in the mirror
And into your eyes
Without any judgment
Without any lies
Beyond the wall
She’s built so high
Is a woman who feels
And yes, she does cry
She appears so strong
As she holds him at bay
But she’s really thinking
“I hope he will stay”
She can’t let him in
Although he does try
She’d be too exposed –
My God, she would die!
For in her head,
That Voice drones on –
Saying over and over
“One day he’ll be Gone”
Then where would she be
With her heart on the floor
Rejected and hurt
And alone once more
“Don’t let down your guard!”
It screams and it shouts
As the other voice struggles
“Stop having these doubts!”
So they fight Inside her
Day after day
Each of them sometimes
Getting their way
She wants so badly
To let go and feel
All the magic and joy
Of a love that is real
But she’s only a Pawn –
The one who hides
In the corner away
From these battling sides
She is weak and frail
So the others must stay
In order to keep
All that Pain locked away
Beyond the wall
Is a garden of fear
Where they all reside
So comfortably here
First there is Anger –
The one who Explodes
At the drop of a hat
As her inside erodes
Next there is Need –
With a hole in its soul
That can never be filled
Though that is her goal
Then there’s Control –
Who must have the power
She’s strong and stubborn
So she guards the Tower
For once she was helpless
It can’t happen again
Now she’s in control
And determines just when
Sadist dwells here
Along with the Rest
She’s vindictive and cold
When she’s at her best
She must punish others
Like she used to be
Make Them all feel Hurt
Maybe then they will see
Self-Hate is present
To remind her she’s dirt
To perpetuate the pattern
And continue the Hurt
So that’s just a taste
Of what does occur
Beyond that great wall –
They’re all part of Her
Behind the curtain
Her heart is safe there
From all of the pain
She just cannot bear
Another rejection
Will break it in two
Then he comes along
And he wants to know who
Who broke your heart
And how can I win
That spirit you have
Buried deep within
“I love you as is”
And he thinks he knows
But the fear deep inside –
It continues & grows
You can’t let him in
You just won’t survive
You can’t overcome
It won’t let you thrive
But he keeps supporting
Even though you push back –
It wants him to go
It wants him to pack
Every day he’s still here
And she doesn’t know why
Should she open her heart?
Should she give it a try?
With each passing day
The curtain is cracked
Just a tiny bit more
Till she stops holding back
Then the day comes
When she opens her eyes
And it suddenly dawns
That she’s won the prize
The curtain has gone
Her heart is secure
For she’s found a love
So completely pure
Fear of success?
“How silly” they say
“You got what you want”
“You’re on your way”
On my way to where?
I can’t really see
What’s up ahead?
What’s the plan for me?
I wanted to write –
Now I bear my soul
Am I trying to fix
That unfillable hole?
Come journey with me
As we walk together —
Hand in hand
Through the stormiest of weather
Perhaps we can heal
By sharing our pain
I’m sure it will fog,
And I’m sure it will rain
But just over there
On the other side
Is a feeling of joy
And a knowing of pride
So please reach out
And join me through this
It’s a sight to behold,
And one not to miss
