Crime Time…..

So I’m hooked on the ID channel (and now Oxygen, which is trying to be the next ID).  What does this say about me? Lol

Sure, I love mysteries and trying to figure out whodunit, but I fill our DVR with a steady stream of it.  Any new shows (and there’s no shortage of them) get added to the existing lineup.  Is this a reflection something deep down inside me for a need for justice of some kind?  Perhaps.  Is it a way to pass time?  Sure.   Is it well spent?  Probably not.

I’m an insomniac, so I spend at least one weeknight being ‘Sleepless in New Jersey.’  These shows let me pass the time mindlessly, but maybe I need to spend this alone time as ‘me’ time and nourish myself.

Either write (if I’m not blocked!)…read (wait, I barely truly read anymore, it’s all audiobooks all the time)… surf the net…or actually do some soul searching and check in on myself.  Are things running smoothly in my world?  Am I trying to distract myself from what’s really going on?

Time to take a hard look…crack open that heavy door to my emotions…maybe let one out?  Yikes!  That’s too scary…bolt the door so nothing escapes!  Instead, watch the ID show where someone else is running from a crazed killer while you run from your own fears.

But there’s always that window, left unlocked, where the monster creeps in…and you’re left to face it alone.  Look it in the eye…stare it down…even though your limbs are quivering and you bite your lip to avoid showing dread.  It senses your weakness…your eyes dart left and right, looking for an ‘out.’

You could run to the left and crash through a window, with a 3-story dive to the pavement…you could run to the right and fall down 3 flights of stairs…or…..you could roll your shoulders back, stand tall in your own strength, and find the nerve to confront it.

The minute you do, you will notice a slight change at first…the monster’s head will tilt…it’s sizing you up…you’ve confused it because you’re still standing there.   It scratches its head in an attempt to figure out why you haven’t yet fled.  Its size grows smaller, no longer as looming a figure.  This gives you courage, so you take a step forward.  It shrinks back in bewilderment.

You now realize you neglected to lock away all the emotions…Truth remained by your side and now holds your hand.  You’re standing as one, and the monster begins to fade like a pile of ashes blowing in the wind.  They pick up speed and slide back down the bottom of the door you fastened so tightly.  Calm now enters and smiles at you.

And you notice a window, not there before, where the world looks bright and all is now safe.  You faced your fear…now it’s time to open the window and step into the light…..