Month: June 2018

OK maybe I’m not an artist…though writing is a form of art, isn’t it?  And yes, I’m struggling!  But it’s a good struggle…an acceptable struggle.  We all have issues to work through, and I’m no exception.  Not many people  know this, but the infamous Leonardo DaVinci was a great starter, but not a good finisher…much like me.  In fact, he never really finished his notorious Mona Lisa painting.

Now you might wonder why I’m comparing myself to such a genius…because I’m an awesome starter!  I can get something in my head and, with laser beam focus, throw myself into the project…be it writing or teaching myself Spanish…and yet…

I never fully finish.

I wrote a mystery novel about 5 years ago, pouring my heart & soul into it.  Sent it off to an editor, and $1500 later, I got it back…did I attempt to implement any of the changes?  Nope…I gave up, because it was just too much work.

So here I am, suddenly hit with a new wave of inspiration to write…mainly sparked by the fact that I want to improve myself.  I’ve been on a quest to discover myself, and by peeling back each layer, I’m finding out more…realizing that the writer is still here, insisting on making her comeback!

Perhaps you are struggling with something as well…my advice is this…we’re in the best environment to share our trials & tribulations because we all have the capacity to reach out there on any form of social media and find a network of support.  We no longer have to live in the shadows…take a step forward…and feel that first ray of sun hit your face…there are others just waiting to take your hand and stand beside you…put on your shades and join us

What contract clause did I miss?  I was under the impression that menopause ‘could’ last up to 10 years…which is bad enough, believe me.  As my mother did, I also started young, around 43 years old…so I technically have one year left on this 10-year clause.

Oh, but wait…now I’m told this could LAST FOREVER.  Say what?  Sorry, what was that?!  It took a good two years just to regulate my body to a ‘somewhat acceptable’ temperature, through the tweaking of different medications…and yet….I’m still living in puddles of sweat day in and day out…

So who do I see about changing this clause?  I must have signed it under duress. Surely no sane person would sign such a document…sure it’s great that I don’t have menstrual cycles every month anymore…but was that the tradeoff?  If so, I’ll gladly go back to that…’No’ you say?

Hmmm…is there any other thing I can trade?  Let me speak to the manager.  Crickets.  Oh, so there’s no manager.  OK.  Perhaps a new trainee who doesn’t yet know all the rules and they can sneak my name on a list to make all this disappear?   More crickets.

Maybe the crickets are the managers and I just don’t speak their language?  Any crickets out there that can find me a loophole?  I must google this…I’ll get back to you…

 

 

 

 

 

 

A ‘See’ Change is Coming….How do you see yourself? I’m a work in progress..one that takes years to hone…we all are..but I see a change on the horizon. A big change.

So big that I’ve suddenly felt the need (and desire) to write again after a 4-year hiatus. So big that I feel positivity inside me and around me. I’ve been enveloped by a puffy, soft cloud, as I float high above my struggling self – the sad self, the directionless self…

It gently drops me on a deserted island surrounded by tranquil teal water and a lone palm tree. My toes sink along in the velvety sand, and I encounter another person sitting under the tree – huge hat & sunglasses – she looks familiar – she’s sipping a tropical drink from a frosty glass. She lifts her head, slides the glasses down her nose, and smiles at me, “What took you so long?”

 

 

I love nature & wildlife…scratch that…I don’t like its ‘dark’ side but much prefer observing its wonder and magic. My husband & I have several bird feeders, and even a squirrel feeder bursting with corn & critter mix, on our back deck. We get to watch all the cardinals, blue jays, chickadees, etc.

We get an added bonus when our squirrels perform circus acts in order to reach the bird food…apparently they feel the need to exercise, because their OWN feeder lovingly sits right on the deck for the easiest of access.

Extra amusement comes in the form of our chipmunks. They zip around the deck, hoovering up bird seed & filling their cheeks to bursting.

As if all this wasn’t enough to delight us, we receive late-night raids on the squirrel food by bandits otherwise known as raccoons. I’ve had the absolute pleasure of watching one look me straight in the eye, without blinking, as his little hand dips in for another serving!

There’s something to this that’s fundamentally profound…the simple joy of observing these critters and the laughs & smiles they evoke from us. After all, isn’t this what life is supposed to be?